Friday, June 10, 2011

Self Acceptance Day

Well, not officially, although it should be. I think we all need a day like this to come to terms with who we are. We need to embrace our idiosyncrasies, our craziness, our normalcies...ourselves. So many times you feel the need to change the things that may not be seen as normal. I think we just need to accept these distinctive qualities and harness it all for good. These are things I know about myself, good and maybe not so great, but definitely not bad. The not so great first...
  1. I'm obsessive compulsive, but it comes in waves and usually when I'm cleaning or gardening...die weeds! Once I start something I usually can't stop, even when I know I'm knee deep in poison ivy (and I'm highly allergic). 
  2. I hate won't see this girl on "Hoarder's - Buried Alive", unless it's featuring my husband's office. That was the only room that I wouldn't touch but my OCD kicked in and I finally broke down and got him organized. See? Harness for good.
  3. I'm a bird nerd. There I said it. This feels good! This one isn't really a "not so great" quality but more of a "it is what it is" quality. But since this one is in the middle of my list maybe you won't read it. We are all busy so maybe you'll read the top two and the bottom two and won't even see this one. I'm not sure why I'm embarrassed about this because birds are pretty cool. I especially like Blue Birds and Indigo Buntings. Have I listed that I have ADD yet?
  4. I'm pretty sure I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm not sure if it's because I can become bored easily and then something catches my eye (or ear) and I'm off on another thought or if it's just lack of focus all together. I seem to focus well on the important "work" tasks (in case a co-worker/client is reading this) but normal every day stuff will take me in many directions in a day.  So if you see me out in a social setting and I cut you off in mid-sentence, please know it's nothing against your excellent conversational skills.
  5. When I'm mad I'll either completely shut down and not talk to that person (i.e. my poor husband) for days or I will explode and yell and scream. Not sure which is healthier and its rare that I get mad but when I do it's usually because of a difference in parenting styles or just lack of patience. Which leads me to no. 6...
  6. I am a confused girl. Some days I can have loads of patience and will let the kids run amok through the house and other days I am not even able to control myself. I will take a simple objective that I've set my mind to and hold on to it (amid extremely reasonable protests) like a rabid dog with a piece of meat. Why can't I let it go? Not sure. Control freak? I'm not that crazy - haha - denial!
Okay, time for a few good points. I'm pretty sure I have these...
  1. I believe we all have good intentions. Whether something along the way happens to influence us otherwise, or there are circumstances beyond our control, we intended no harm. I'm sure this is naive, but I have to operate this way or I will become too cynical. I will let the cynicism take it's natural course when I'm an old woman (that's going to be fun!)
  2. Does making lists count here? I make lists of things to do, of things we need at the store, of chores for the kids, for work, for the garden, lists of my good and not so good points (haha)...I have lists everywhere. I guess this would count here as long as I cross things off and get things done, right? 
  3. I'm creative. My OCD sometimes gets in the way of producing though. "Let me just clean my desk before I get started on that watercolor. I might as well clean my office while I'm at it. - Damn it's time to make dinner." {sigh} I'm an interior designer and this is a great quality to have when you need to manage a project but when you want to explore new media it's very difficult. I think that's why I've been more into photography. You can have the creative eye, but then there is the manipulation of the photo, and the organization of your photo files and then the selection of which to print and frame. Someday, I'll paint...
  4. I'm faithful...committed. Once I have vowed these things I will not stray. I can't guarantee I won't throw a quick glance sideways but I will always turn quickly back. OCD vs ADD... keeps me in balance. 
  5. Well I've been told I'm friendly and outgoing. I will talk with just about anyone and usually find something we have in common. I think we all have something interesting to say and I want to know what it is.
  6. a cat. Until I had cats, I wasn't really sure how curious cats where. I'm really surprised I haven't had a cat until now. We are quite similar, now that I think about it. They can be OCD and ADD and unpredictable but they are not list makers. I wonder what would be on their list if they could make one. 
  7. I just have to have one more good quality than the not so good. So I can admit I am a very positive person. I would hope that being around me makes you look at the brighter side of things and I try to be positive in any situation. Negativity will only bring you down and there's no reason for that. Ever.
I will admit that this is a comprehensive list. There is much more, but it's already the longest post I've written. So for all of my ADD friends who are reading this - go to to the top and read it all - no skimming! 

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